


I Ain't Gotta Tell Him, I Think He Knows

by soul_writerr



Series: Lover [4]
Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Flirting, Humor, Hung!Sonny, M/M, Ogling, Ridiculous, Size Queen!Rafael, Stupid Swimming Attire, Swimming Pools, Teasing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-04
Updated: 2019-09-04
Packaged: 2020-10-09 23:06:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,421
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20517935
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/soul_writerr/pseuds/soul_writerr
Summary: Instead of laughing, however, Rafael suddenly choked. He choked very loudly, and it wasn’t cute at all and very unbecoming of one of Manhattan’s Assistant District Attorneys, but Rafael’s eyes had adjusted to the sudden shadow Carisi made, and he could see… everything.





	I Ain't Gotta Tell Him, I Think He Knows

**Author's Note:**

> I told myself I wasn't going to write another fluffy fic for a while, so the next best thing? Crack. And crack this is, absolutely stupid.
> 
> I was inspired by Taylor's I Think He Knows, specially the line "he's got that OH I mean-- Wanna see what's under that attitude" lmao
> 
> Enjoy!

It all started when the squad was talking about their weekend plans, which mostly involved sleeping in as late as they could and cleaning. Until Carisi said he was on house-sitting duty because his parents were away in Europe for two weeks. Until Carisi said he hoped the weather was nice so he could use the pool. Until Carisi said the pool was huge. 

Suddenly, people started inviting themselves over, with promises of beer and grilled hamburgers. Even Olivia joined in, offering to buy pizza for everybody as her contribution.

Rafael had watched the plans being made silently, and the group got more and more excited the more they talked about it. He held back a smile, amused by a bunch of NYPD Detectives being as excited as a frat house filled with 18 year olds dying to get drunk for the first time. 

When the group dispersed, Rafael stood up from the conference table and started gathering his things, very much aware of Carisi hovering around him.

“The invitation extends to you too, Counselor. In case that wasn’t clear,” Carisi said confidently, turning to Rafael. “You don’t have to bring anything.” 

Rafael looked up at him. “I’m sure the others wouldn’t think that’s fair.

“Well, they invited themselves, so they better contribute,” Carisi joked, shrugging, then lightly tapped the tip of his fingers to Rafael’s tie. “You’ll be my special guest.”

“Special, uh?,” Rafael smirked, giving Carisi a long look. The Detective didn’t even flinch, only smiled slyly. “Fine. Text me the address.” 

Carisi beamed, nodding. “Will do.”

“And there better be scotch,” he said, picking up his briefcase.

“I’ll make sure to get your favorite,” Carisi guaranteed, because of course he knew which brand the ADA preferred. 

So now here Rafael was, lying on a sunbed under an umbrella, glass of Scotch in hand, watching as Rollins and Fin splashed around in the pool and Dodds and Amaro braved the grill. 

Olivia was lying on the sunbed beside his, looking like she didn’t have a single care in the world, and Carisi was lost somewhere in the big house. Much to Rafael’s disappointment, he had yet to follow his coworkers’ example and strip down to his swimming trunks. 

It had been almost a social experience for Rafael, watching as Detective after Detective revealed their swimming gear. He was surprised to see how muscled Dodds was, even more than Amaro somehow, the two of them wearing colorful speedos that got a couple jokes out of Fin, who went with very long, very baggy trunks. 

And he’d watched with amused curiosity as Rollins and Olivia stepped out of the house in their swimming suits. Dodds and Amaro had put on a very loud show of clapping and cat-calling, to which both women responded with joyous laughs, then it all died down and they went back to what they were doing as if nothing had happened.

However, Rafael tutted in disappointment when Carisi exited the house still in jeans and a shirt. How did he manage that? It was boiling hot, and at this point Rafael himself was considering pulling off his polo, although he had no plans of going into the pool. 

“Barba! Liv!,” Rollins called from pool. “You’re not coming in?”

“In a minute,” Olivia said, lifting her half-full glass of gin and tonic. 

“No, thanks,” Rafael replied, unbothered.

“Can’t swim?,” Rollins teased.

“I may have been born and raised in the Bronx, but my family is from Miami. I learned how to swim before I could even walk.”

Beside him, Olivia snorted, and Rollins shook her head. “I don’t believe that,” the blonde said, then swam away in a very over-the-top backstroke. 

“Put your Detectives in line, Benson,” Rafael scoffed.

“I’m no one’s boss today, Rafael,” she said, smiling, and leaned back comfortably. 

Then, what Rafael had been waiting for his _ entire life _finally happened. Goaded by Dodds, Carisi pulled his shirt off, and Rafael watched as his shoulder muscles twisted and twitched under his skin. Carisi was lean, and toned, his skin perfectly smooth. Rafael immediately started salivating.

Rafael saw as his eyes ran around the perimeter of the pool until Carisi found him, and the degenerate bastard smiled a taunting grin as he pulled off his pants, too, revealing the shortest shorts Rafael had ever seen. His thighs were thicker than they had any right to be, his legs a never-ending ride the ADA would love to go on. 

Everything about the man was long; his neck, his arms, his torso, his legs, and Rafael couldn’t help but wonder…

“Christ, Rafael, close your mouth,” Olivia laughed. “You’re drooling.”

He noticed that his jaw had, indeed, dropped open as Detective Carisi stripped for him, and snapped it closed with a loud clicking of his teeth. Olivia laughed again, and Rafael huffed, but he kept his eyes on Carisi the whole time as the Detective strutted to the deeper side of the pool, then jumped in. 

He emerged, shaking his hair away from his face, and threw Rafael a wink. Every lap the Detective took in the pool made the ADA inch forward so he wouldn’t lose sight of him for one second, his arms working through the water. Rafael crossed his legs, hoping to delay any possible response to the display of the almost naked, very wet, very tall and attractive man in front of him. 

Eventually, Dodds and Amaro jumped in too, and a ball materialized out of nowhere, but he was still watching Carisi as he swam around the pool, his wet back glistening under the sun everytime he emerged from the blue water. 

Carisi’s hair was completely soaked now, and he kept pushing it back with his fingers, so naturally Rafael found himself wishing he could pull at it a little. Maybe he’d pull it back so he could bite into the insanely long line of Carisi’s neck, leave a mark or two, make him tremble. 

Maybe he’d pull it so he could get Carisi where he wanted him, against a wall, over a desk, on his knees. 

Rafael felt goosebumps over his skin, the image of Carisi on his knees, his ridiculously tiny swimming shorts unable to hide his excitement, flashing across his mind. He shook himself, very aware that Olivia was only a step away from him, and there was a pool full of Detectives right there. 

But Carisi kept looking at him, smiling, running his stupid fingers through his stupid hair. He kept swimming towards the shallower side of the pool, and when he stood on his feet Rafael could see his whole torso. Naked, wet, stupid, taunting, inviting. It was incredibly overwhelming. And idiotic.

He struck up a conversation with Olivia, then, taking his eyes away from Carisi, willing his self-control back. Carisi was trying to provoke him, and Rafael would _ not _let him.

Thankfully, Olivia was great company and the easiest person to talk to, so soon Rafael was distracted enough to push a certain wet and ridiculous Detective to the back of his mind. That was, at least, until a shadow fell over him and Rafael looked up to see said Detective grinning at him, the _ stupid _ sun shining directly behind him, making his skin and hair look _ stupid _and golden. 

It was quite an incredible sight, and Rafael swallowed hard. 

“Counselor,” Carisi greeted lowly, once again pushing his hand through his hair. “You’re not coming in? The water feels fantastic. You look stuffy in that polo.” 

“I’m alright here, thank you, Detective,” he said politely. Rafael almost laughed when Carisi pouted, frowning slightly.

Instead of laughing, however, Rafael suddenly choked. He choked very loudly, and it wasn’t cute at all and very unbecoming of one of Manhattan’s Assistant District Attorneys, but Rafael’s eyes had adjusted to the sudden shadow Carisi made, and he could see… _ everything _. 

He could see everything Carisi’s shorts were unable to hide. Be it because it clung to him now because it was wet or because it was _ frighteningly big _ , it was all _ right there _. A feast for Rafael’s eyes. And feast he did, staring and choking like a teenager who’d never seen a dick before.

Carisi’s frown deepened, and he took a step closer, which Rafael wasn’t sure was the best given his current situation, and he made a noise that frankly resembled a dog having its tail stepped on. 

“Rafael, are you okay?,” Olivia asked, her hand on his shoulder pulling him back to reality. 

“Yeah,” he squeaked, then cleared his throat and tried again. “Yeah, I’m fine.”

“I’ll go get you some water,” Carisi offered, ever the gracious host, and turned around. Rafael let out another noise, a deeper one at least, because watching Carisi walk away was _ beautiful _. Truly a piece of artwork the Met would be envious of.

Beside him, Olivia let out a roaring bolt of laughter. He had honestly never heard her laugh that loudly and all the other Detectives turned to look at them, puzzled. 

“You’re making a scene,” Rafael hissed, hating all the eyes suddenly on him for the first time in his life. He didn’t need _ more _people to see how he reacted to the monstrosity in Carisi’s shorts.

“Me?,” she wheezed. “Wow Rafael, what _ was _that? I don’t think I’ve ever seen ADA Barba lose his poise like that.”

“Well, I’ve never seen shameless Detectives in shorts that tiny before,” he said meekly, half-mumbling. “It’s really got no space in there.” 

Olivia laughed again, shaking her head amusedly. “For what’s worth, I think Carisi wants you to go into the pool so bad because he’d like to get an eyeful of you as well.”

Rafael scoffed into his drink, taking a big gulp to try and appease his troubled pipes. He was really going through a lot right now.

Yeah, he wasn’t discreet in his interest, and he could see in the way Carisi’s gaze always lingered on him and that he most likely knew where Rafael’s thoughts went most of the time. He also probably knew what he was doing when he chose those shorts. And he most definitely knew what was up when he chose to strip while keep eye-contact with Rafael. 

He had probably planned this; coming over with his entire _ monster _of a dick on display like that was clearly a very well-constructed plan to drive Rafael out of his mind.

“Burgers are done!,” Amaro yelled from his spot by the grill, and Dodds slipped on his haste to get to it and fell back into the pool in the most inelegant pose Rafael had ever seen. By the _ slap _ he heard, it probably hurt, too.

“Jesus,” Olivia snorted, standing up. “I can’t believe these idiots handle guns.” 

“Yeah, and _ you _handle these idiots,” he teased with a smirk. 

“I got it on video!,” Rollins announced proudly as Dodds struggled to get out of the water again with a wince.

“You make a great point,” she told Rafael, then sighed and walked over to Amaro. 

Rafael did want a burger, but he was going to wait for Carisi to come back with the water he had offered just so he could pester the Detective about wearing shorts clearly designed for children in front of his very boss, who so happened to be a Lieutenant with the NYPD. The _ audacity _.

However, the words got stuck in Rafael’s throat when Carisi stepped out of the house again. Christ, what was he, 17? 

“Here you go, Counselor,” Carisi offered the tall glass with a smile. “Feeling okay?”

“I am,” he said, looking down again. “I couldn’t say the same for you.”

Carisi frowned, sitting on the sunbed Olivia had left vacant, his attention on Rafael. “What do you mean?”

“Was the store out of shorts that fit you?,” Rafael started, a little more breathless than he preferred. “Honestly, Detective, that doesn’t look comfortable.”

Carisi looked down at himself, then looked back at Rafael with the dirtiest grin he had ever seen. “You noticed, uh?”

Rafael scoffed. “Hard to miss.”

“Well, I didn’t want you to miss it,” he shrugged.

“I _ knew _you planned this.”

“Not really. I saw an opportunity and I took it,” Carisi said, looking at Rafael from under his eyelashes. “Really Counselor, how long are we gonna play this game?”

Rafael’s heartbeat skipped inside his chest. It felt like a plate full of the most delicious food had just been offered to him, so it was really no surprise that he started salivating again, and he was suddenly _ extremely _hungry. 

He looked around to the rest group, blessedly distracted by building their burgers and inhaling them down like the bunch of vultures they were, and Rafael smirked, turning back to Carisi. He threw his legs off the sunbed and set his glass to the side, leaning closer to the Detective, who kept his eyes on him, attentive.

“Where can we go?,” Rafael asked, his voice low, sultry, full of promise. 

Carisi jumped up so fast he almost tipped the sunbed to its side, but he offered Rafael a hand and it was forgotten. It was all forgotten, because there was only one thing on his mind.

Rafael was pulled inside the house, up the stairs, and he had no idea where they were, but then he was pushed inside a room and suddenly he was being pinned up against a door and Carisi’s whole body was pressed against his, warm and naked, only those tiny shorts keeping Rafael from what he really wanted. 

“Tell me, Counselor,” Carisi panted, pressing into him harder, and Rafael could feel _ everything _ . And he whimpered because, _ Jesus Christ, Mary, and Joseph _, it felt bigger than it had looked. “What are we gonna do?” 

Rafael’s gave him his best version of bedroom eyes he could muster in his distracted haze, burying one of his hands in Carisi’s still wet hair and pulling it back slightly. He dragged his lips over the pale expanse of the Detective’s neck, who whimpered.

“I think you know,” Rafael whispered, and bit down. Carisi’s hips immediately bucked into him, and the sound he made was downright sinful. “Don’t you, Sonny?”

“Yeah,” he breathed, closing his eyes as Rafael’s grip on his hair tightened. “Yeah. I know.”

Rafael smirked, and not for one second did he worry if the group outside noticed their absence. He had a very pliant Detective in his hands, tiny shorts he needed to make disappear immediately, and a very impressive erection to delight himself with. 

Priorities. 

**Author's Note:**

> I might have one last fic for this series? I'm honestly not sure, maybe when I lift my 'no fluff' ban? LMAO let's see! I'm currently working on a Hogwarts AU tho so go over on my twitter @pastelpinktv to keep up with that. 
> 
> So, did you like this?? Comments fill my soul and kudos make me squeal!! <3

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [The Poolside Size Queen](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24880858) by [Cynic_Rose](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cynic_Rose/pseuds/Cynic_Rose)


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